From insanity to humor...2 days

So to bring you up to speed on my United lost luggage issue, I now have my bag. What a nightmare of events to get me to the actual point of getting it though. Through this process I spoke with five baggage claim agents (located in India via the phone), all of which ran through the same scripted garbage with me, and then to top it off the moron behind the counter in MKE clearly echoed the same dumbfoundedness of his colleagues on the phone. Clearly United has serious customer service training issues...correction, no customer service!
---In the great words of Clark Griswold I'd like to tell United "what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit they are. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?"---

Now that I have my luggage back I truly do have to laugh at the ignorance and stupidity of one of the world's largest airlines...no wonder they are looking to merge with any other airline willing Perhaps this is what the discussion went like at corporate...